Today was such a great day, number one of which was my furniture and everything else arriving from the US. It feels so good to sit on a couch and type this out, rather than an air mattress. Praise the Lord for comfortable places to sit (it's the little things, people)! As I opened boxes and rummaged through what I had hastily packed 1.5 months ago, I got really teary eyed. I think the movers thought I was crazy. It's not about the possessions. Its about the memories of so many of these items and how so many people have given a lot to see me make it here. Here's a run down of what I cried over today.
1. Grandpa Zoch's veteran flag. I can only imagine what he's up in heaven thinking now...how his only granddaughter is taking a huge leap of faith and trusting that in the end, God will provide. I'm not sure if he'd understand what I'm doing, be proud or just smile and shake his head. I know he'd ask me if I have a boyfriend. That's just the way he was. I hope he'd be proud - he set the stage for big things for me by working his tail off to send his daughter to college, creating a legacy of striving for the best for the next generation.
2. Granny Zoch's dining room set. I really thought at first I wasn't going to bring the chairs and table. They are quality, but they've seen better days. I wasn't as kind to them as I should have been....they still look great, but occasionally, the chairs decide not to work. My dad fixed the chairs before I left and talked me into taking the set. I'm so glad I did now. It has been so nice to not worry about finding furniture. And they have a history...countless Christmas/Easter dinners at that table with a lot of fond memories from.
3. Aunt Minnie's saran wrap, ziploc bags and aluminum foil. I feel sad writing this...I don't really talk much about how much she meant to me. I really only have these three things to remember her by. Again, I'm not sure how she would react to what I'm doing. Wait, I'm sure. She would say I'm crazy and then tell me to eat some more food. That's what makes having her 1970s saran wrap so special. I don't even know if it's still sticky or if it's gotten too sticky. I don't really care. She made so many amazing meals and packaged so many leftovers to send home with us, it's no wonder she had 4 decades worth of saran wrap, ziploc bags and aluminum foil. I can't believe I'm saying that the best inheritance I have and the one that traveled with me overseas is several boxes of 1970s Saran wrap, but I can't help but smile every time I wrap food. I still miss her like crazy and never really mourned her loss because I refuse to think about it. Somewhere there's a therapist hearing dollar signs over my crazy obsession with this saran wrap. Unfortunately, I don't have anything from Uncle Erwin, but that's even worse. If I did, I wouldn't have made it through today....I can't talk about him.
4. Granny Kelly's end tables, chinese cone and baking dishes. Granny made it to the Netherlands with me. Again, I'm not sure what she would think. I have a lot of early good memories from the Kelly side of the family. I mostly remember Grandpa Kelly sitting in an easy chair next to the end tables. I miss him. He cared about me and brother...he always made a special effort to spend time with us. I have 2 favorite memories from the limited time we had growing up. First was the day we went fishing on the bay (in my mind, the day that goes down as the best fishing day ever). We caught tons of fish...none too big, but every fish we caught was different. All different colors, shapes, sizes. And for some reason, I remember the bay water being really really clear, which can't be accurate given it was Galveston bay in the 90s, but my mind has convinced itself that it was a beautiful clear bay. Second was closer to his passing, and should for all accounts, be a sad memory. I never knew where he (or for that matter, Granny) stood on faith. He never talked about it, never went to church. I had no idea. As a 14 year old, it was really scary to watch your grandpa die not knowing whether or not he believed in the one who saves. It was unfathomable. Fortunately, Grandpa got some time to think it through before passing. He told my family, not long before he passed that he was ready to meet Jesus (and not in a joking way). My grandfather is one of those moments where I knew that Jesus intervened on behalf of our family. It made his passing (while still difficult at 14) that much more peaceful for me. I know where he is and I know that right now, he's looking down smiling. Of all my grandparent types, I think he'd be the most proud and encouraged by what I'm doing. My parents may disagree, but I think he would be the most excited. I don't have anything specific of his here (the fishing poles and lures didn't make the trip), but those end tables remind me of him.
5. K and T's box of ULC dirt. I don't know if K and T would remember this at all, but the first summer I did Group Workcamps, they made a little box that is painted maroon with "We are the Aggies, the Aggies are we" painted on it, with our pictures in the lid. Inside was a baggie of ULC dirt, where we went to church and spent so much time together. That box for the first summer went with me across the country...from Colorado to West Virginia. Then it went a second and third summer, from Colorado to Michigan to Virginia to Florida. Now, it gets an even bigger trip. This one really made me teary eyed because I can't believe it's been 8 years (if we do when K graduated) since we were together facing big changes....K getting married, T starting work, me staring work. I wouldn't want to go through the big decisions without them again...those girls mean the world to me.
6. S's bean game. Really this game belonged to Mike, but I believe S is the one who gave it to me. The bean game is now over the ocean....I'll need to find someone who will love it as much as our group did back then. S is so good at gift giving, it's truly a talent. I wish I had an ounce of that. She is also such a great listener and we have been pretty much on the same path in life for the last 7-8 years...it's been so great to have a friend who keeps me accountable yet also shares in life's struggles.
7. A's painting. He got me this painting while he was living with me a few years ago. I don't know if he knows how perfect it is for me, but it's perfect. I'm putting it in a very prominent place once I figure out how to hang stuff here. I absolutely love this painting of the lilies by Monet...not sure he knew it at the time, but it's perfect.
8. Mom's quilts. I have 2 quilts here that I spent a lot of time making with my mom. I can't really talk about it because I'll get tear eyed again....I miss making them with her. She better have the sewing maching ready to go at Christmas...I'm ready to sew again.
9. Dad's tools. I used the tool kit today, Dad! I know you are proud. I can see how you sorted the tools exactly how I would need them while I'm here. I've unfortunately rearranged them. Can't wait for you to get here and sort it out again!
10. Work friends - all of the stuff you gave me prior to leaving. I got teary eyed just thinking about how much I miss Houston and the connections I made there. Can't believe I'll be away from that for 2 years.
All of this is really just stuff (especially the saran wrap), but it has so much meaning and is particularly touching after a hard weekend on an air mattress. I've been blessed in so many ways and I only hope to continue the legacy that my grandparent types began and my parents continued and my friends encouraged to grow.
On another, less sappy note, IKEA is dead to me. The lamps won't work. I'm taking them back and finding a real furniture store where they are preassembled. Dead to me. At least J and K don't need to worry about me asking them for help with an Ikea trip. And my first born will not be named J or K. For now.
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