And just for fun...pretentious art from this week:
Men standing around a table!!! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa......
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Mid week update
Another great week - I've been so productive this week...not that I'm not every week, but this week has been really successful so far. I rode my bike to work on Monday but then left it at work to have dinner with friends. I rode it back tonight after dinner, which was great...at one spot though I forgot how to use my breaks and accidentally just said "stop" to my bike. That doesn't work (like, omg, obvi...what a blonde thing to do!) and I happened to be with a friend and I thought she was going to fall off her bike she was laughing so hard. Yea for crazy Americans on bikes!
And just for fun...pretentious art from this week:
And just for fun...pretentious art from this week:
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Biking to work
I biked in twice to work this week - its getting easier each time to get on the bike and get off it. The second time around of learning to ride a bike has been much easier. On Friday, it was so cold, but it just feels good to get in and know that you worked hard that morning just to get there. There's some satisfication in saying "I rode uphill to work both ways in the snow"....not that it was snowing that much, but I did see some flakes both there and back. The ride to work is nice, I go through the woods and along several canals. On Friday they were frozen over, so it's fun to watch the ducks walk on the water rather than swim. I would be confused if I were them, but they seem to know what they are doing.
The original Haarlem
I need to work one day this weekend and I thought that would be today. However, I woke up this morning with a strong desire to get out of town. So I called an audible - went to the train station and took the first one headed out of town, which happened to be to Haarlem.
Haarlem is spitting distance from Amsterdam, but doesn't get nearly the hype that Amsterdam does. It's a quaint town, much like Delft, but a bit bigger. It is freezing cold in the Netherlands today, so I didn't wander around too much outside, but there is definitely plenty to do on a sunny day. I will definitely be going back...I missed the Corrie Ten Boom house and a few other sites. I also realised I've never ranked the Dutch cities I've been to. Here's how they stack up so far:
1. Delft - I love that little city that has more canals and pedestrian areas than cars.
2. Haarlem - Great city for shopping, people watching and just relaxing.
3. Amsterdam - Great for a day trip - best people watching in the Netherlands. Crowded though.
4. The Hague - Great to live in, not a lot of touristy things to do. That's why I love living here - I get out more often.
5. Arnhem - To be fair to Arnhem - I didn't spend much time in Arnhem itself. But what I saw did not sell me on it.
Anyways, back to Haarlem:
1. I took the slow milk run train to Haarlem because it was leaving first and I thought a nice slow train ride would be relaxing. It was - I could see where all of the fields were planted with flowers and the first signs of spring were there....small, but there. I think that train ride will be really cool when spring is in full force - should be flowers everywhere.
2. I arrived in Haarlem and walked from the station to the center of town which was really easy. There was a great little farmer's market in the center square that I wandered through and sampled a few things - cheese, breads and fruit. Fun stuff.
3. I think I underestimated how cold it would be today....I quickly realised that indoor activities were the best bet. I went to Grote Kerk, which RS gives 1 pyramid. I would agree - its huge, but the best part is the organ:
This massive organ has 3 keyboards, 65 stops, and more pedals than can be counted. 10 year old Mozart played this 5,000 pipe beast early in his career and then later in 1766 he returned to play again. Handel played it the year before he wrote "Messiah". The organist can't be seen while playing - he/she sits somewhere in all those pipes (I hope they have ear plugs). Some of the pipes are 20 feet tall. It covers 8 octaves. Impressive!
Grote Kerk is also the burial place of the rich and famous Dutch. The floor is literally the crypt:
There are graves all over the interior, including that of Frans Hals - a Dutch master painter. More on him later. Apparently this is also where the phrase "stinking rich" originated. The rich would be buried below the church, often in peasant areas. The burials were not done to today's standards, meaning that often an unpleasant smell would come from the graves for months after burials. Hence, "stinking rich". Not sure if that's true - but whole new meaning for me!
The church just feels open and airy. Apparently, prior to the Reformation, the church walls were covered in paintings reminscent of Rome. However, post Reformation, the congregants white washed the walls to remove signs of saints, etc. Makes you wonder what it would have looked like:
In 2008, Queen Beatrix unvieled a newly commissioned stain glass piece in the church:
The piece is called "Peace and Tolerance" and shows depictions of each of the major world religions heading into salvation. The bottom half has each of the signs of the zodiac included. Hmmmmmmmmm. Maybe taking the Reformation a bit too far.
Finally, here is the exterior of the church:
I enjoyed the church - definitely worth a visit.
3. After the church visit, I walked through the shopping area and enjoyed the people watching before heading to the Frans Hals museum (dead guy mentioned above). RS gives it 2 pyramids. I must not have been in a pretentious art mood, because I definitely didn't get it. I give it 1 - at best. Frans Hals was raised and lived the majority of his life in Haarlem. He painted many scenes of men standing in a group. That's the gist of it. I just can't get excited about men standing in a group. There were several whole rooms full of huge paintings of men standing in a group or sitting around a table. Just not interesting to me. He's no Rembrandt. I will say that one of the rooms had some Jan Steen, who is growing on me more and more. He really enjoys painting mischievous scenes that just look fun to be in. In this particular one, he painted a scene of all drunk people. Not that I wanted to be in it, it was just funny to see a woman crouching to pee in a famous painting. Nicely done Steen, keeping it classy.
The walk there was nice though:
After that, I headed back to the Grote Markt to find food...the RS place I wanted to try wasn't open yet and it was so cold I just went in the nearest place that was open. Thankfully I got lucky and it had good food - some of the best fries I've had here.
4. I headed back early because 6 Nations Rugby Eng v. France starts in an hour - need to scope out my spot for watching!
Haarlem is spitting distance from Amsterdam, but doesn't get nearly the hype that Amsterdam does. It's a quaint town, much like Delft, but a bit bigger. It is freezing cold in the Netherlands today, so I didn't wander around too much outside, but there is definitely plenty to do on a sunny day. I will definitely be going back...I missed the Corrie Ten Boom house and a few other sites. I also realised I've never ranked the Dutch cities I've been to. Here's how they stack up so far:
1. Delft - I love that little city that has more canals and pedestrian areas than cars.
2. Haarlem - Great city for shopping, people watching and just relaxing.
3. Amsterdam - Great for a day trip - best people watching in the Netherlands. Crowded though.
4. The Hague - Great to live in, not a lot of touristy things to do. That's why I love living here - I get out more often.
5. Arnhem - To be fair to Arnhem - I didn't spend much time in Arnhem itself. But what I saw did not sell me on it.
Anyways, back to Haarlem:
1. I took the slow milk run train to Haarlem because it was leaving first and I thought a nice slow train ride would be relaxing. It was - I could see where all of the fields were planted with flowers and the first signs of spring were there....small, but there. I think that train ride will be really cool when spring is in full force - should be flowers everywhere.
2. I arrived in Haarlem and walked from the station to the center of town which was really easy. There was a great little farmer's market in the center square that I wandered through and sampled a few things - cheese, breads and fruit. Fun stuff.
3. I think I underestimated how cold it would be today....I quickly realised that indoor activities were the best bet. I went to Grote Kerk, which RS gives 1 pyramid. I would agree - its huge, but the best part is the organ:
Grote Kerk is also the burial place of the rich and famous Dutch. The floor is literally the crypt:
There are graves all over the interior, including that of Frans Hals - a Dutch master painter. More on him later. Apparently this is also where the phrase "stinking rich" originated. The rich would be buried below the church, often in peasant areas. The burials were not done to today's standards, meaning that often an unpleasant smell would come from the graves for months after burials. Hence, "stinking rich". Not sure if that's true - but whole new meaning for me!
The church just feels open and airy. Apparently, prior to the Reformation, the church walls were covered in paintings reminscent of Rome. However, post Reformation, the congregants white washed the walls to remove signs of saints, etc. Makes you wonder what it would have looked like:
In 2008, Queen Beatrix unvieled a newly commissioned stain glass piece in the church:
Finally, here is the exterior of the church:
3. After the church visit, I walked through the shopping area and enjoyed the people watching before heading to the Frans Hals museum (dead guy mentioned above). RS gives it 2 pyramids. I must not have been in a pretentious art mood, because I definitely didn't get it. I give it 1 - at best. Frans Hals was raised and lived the majority of his life in Haarlem. He painted many scenes of men standing in a group. That's the gist of it. I just can't get excited about men standing in a group. There were several whole rooms full of huge paintings of men standing in a group or sitting around a table. Just not interesting to me. He's no Rembrandt. I will say that one of the rooms had some Jan Steen, who is growing on me more and more. He really enjoys painting mischievous scenes that just look fun to be in. In this particular one, he painted a scene of all drunk people. Not that I wanted to be in it, it was just funny to see a woman crouching to pee in a famous painting. Nicely done Steen, keeping it classy.
The walk there was nice though:
4. I headed back early because 6 Nations Rugby Eng v. France starts in an hour - need to scope out my spot for watching!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Falling for the Dutch
Today was quite the eventful day...sit back and relax, enjoy the show.
1. I got up early because I made the decision the day before to ride my bike to work and catch the church bus from there to the 10AM service. It's not actually a church bus, but I've named it that to remember that bus 22 to the word that starts with a D and contains a Z goes to church. Don't ask me to pronounce it. It was a really good idea to test the wheels out early as there were no cars out at 9:15AM when I started. This city starts late on Sundays. Anyways, no issues, only got lost one time....and by lost, meaning I didn't understand how to make a left turn onto a particular street as there wasn't a bike lane. But no matter, I made it just fine with plenty of time to catch the church bus.
2. Made it to church again...for those that are counting, that's 3 times in 7 days. I made it on Ash Wednesday as well. It was a nice service with a good tie in between Leviticus and Romans (old covenant, new covenant). It's the contemporary service at 10...one though was a hymn to guitar. That gets me excited...I love that. Another was a great song we used to sing at Trinity a lot..."Give us clean hands". I love the part about being a generation that seeks His face. They did the thing where new people stood up and introduced themselves. This time there were new people from Scotland, Singapore, Poland and Holland. Such a great dynamic.
3. After church I grabbed some snacks at the Albert Heijn right next to church and headed back on the church bus to work. I worked for about 2 hours and then grabbed my bike to see if I could make it back home. Everything went well until I got to the street that I got lost on the first time. The bike lane just ends! No idea what to do in that scenario....so I got flustered and tried to break to fast, then tried to put down my feet and then just slow motion fell to the right onto the sidewalk. Thankfully not hurt, but pride was a bit dampered. I was doing so well! Oh well. Got some road rash to prove I'm falling for the Dutch. If someone tells me I should get a bike this week again, I will say not only do I have one, but show them my bruised up knee and scabs to prove it. I saved my face - no more scars on the face!
4. I made it home, took a cat nap and then decided to go the museum that's housing the Mauritshuis Dutch masters that RS recommends. The museum is closed until 2014 for renovations, but a lot of the masterpieces are being shown at the Gemeentemuseum . Don't ask me how to pronounce either of those. I decided to take the tram as my butt was feeling the bike...I felt like I needed one of those geriatric donut seats. TMI? Sorry. The Gemeentemuseum is a mess. I couldn't figure out where to go or what to see. Thankfully they took the museumkaart so I could go back any time, but I think it will be awhile before I decide to do that. I think RS gives the Mauritshuis 2 pyramids...the Gemeentemuseum doesn't register on that scale. That's appropriate. I enjoyed the paintings they had on display from the Mauritshuis, but the rest of it was modern art and the like. Not a fan.
First I saw a special exhibit on Delft pottery. Anyone need a vase?
Then there was another special exhibit of a famous Dutch art dealer who has collected 100s of famous paintings over the years. The exhibit featured only paintings he has either bought or sold over the years:
That's a Monet - scenes from Normany. Really neat.
After that, I couldn't take pictures. The famous Mauritshuis painting is the "Girl with the Pearl Earring" by Vermeer....it wasn't there. Out on tour. Bummer. They did however have a Hendrick Avercamp, who is quickly becoming my favorite Dutch artist:
Just love his idilic scenes. I think this one is better than the one in Amsterdam.
Other than that, there were a few Rembrants (almost all self portraits, except for a gruesome picture of anatomy class for surgeons. ewww.), one Van Gogh that I could find and a few Steens, Vermeers and Hals. Nothing to get that excited about. Disappointed that the pearl earring girl was on tour. I don't think I can say I've seen Dutch art until I've seen her...she's that iconic.
_-_The_Girl_With_The_Pearl_Earring_(1665).jpg)
Ok - enough art. Suffice it to say, had it been in the correct museum, it would probably have been a lot more interesting. As it was, I spent most of the time trying to figure out where I was at.
5. After that, I wandered the area and found a new pedestrian only shopping area with some interesting looking cafes. For another time.
6. I took the bus back and headed to Noordeine (street with the palace ). I tried Bubble tea for the first time, which I'm not sure I can describe. It was good. I read a bit on my iPad and then headed to O'Casey's for a pint and some snacks. I got a table this time, which was nice and watched a football game between 2 teams whom I have no idea what country they are from. I think Belgium because they were sponsored by Jupiler (Belgian goodness beer), but no idea. I met 2 guys - both claiming to be Irish, but I'm not entirely sure. One of them started speaking to me in Dutch at the beginning and then when I said I only spoke English, he started talking in English with a heavy Dutch accent. Anyways, man of indeterminant nationality continued by asking me where I was from, what I was doing in the Hague...nice conversation. I repeated the exchange to him and he said he was in town studying the art of love. Two things wrong with this: a) he was too old to be studying anything b) SERIOUSLY, that's the pick up line you use? Gross. Called it an early night at that point.
7. On the way back, I did a bit of window shopping for the strangest clothing and/or advertisements I could find. Here is what I came across:
First, ladies, for that night out on the town, who doesn't have a pair of spiky gold roller skates. I mean if you don't, your wardrobe is incomplete.
Happy President's Day to everyone in the states!
1. I got up early because I made the decision the day before to ride my bike to work and catch the church bus from there to the 10AM service. It's not actually a church bus, but I've named it that to remember that bus 22 to the word that starts with a D and contains a Z goes to church. Don't ask me to pronounce it. It was a really good idea to test the wheels out early as there were no cars out at 9:15AM when I started. This city starts late on Sundays. Anyways, no issues, only got lost one time....and by lost, meaning I didn't understand how to make a left turn onto a particular street as there wasn't a bike lane. But no matter, I made it just fine with plenty of time to catch the church bus.
2. Made it to church again...for those that are counting, that's 3 times in 7 days. I made it on Ash Wednesday as well. It was a nice service with a good tie in between Leviticus and Romans (old covenant, new covenant). It's the contemporary service at 10...one though was a hymn to guitar. That gets me excited...I love that. Another was a great song we used to sing at Trinity a lot..."Give us clean hands". I love the part about being a generation that seeks His face. They did the thing where new people stood up and introduced themselves. This time there were new people from Scotland, Singapore, Poland and Holland. Such a great dynamic.
3. After church I grabbed some snacks at the Albert Heijn right next to church and headed back on the church bus to work. I worked for about 2 hours and then grabbed my bike to see if I could make it back home. Everything went well until I got to the street that I got lost on the first time. The bike lane just ends! No idea what to do in that scenario....so I got flustered and tried to break to fast, then tried to put down my feet and then just slow motion fell to the right onto the sidewalk. Thankfully not hurt, but pride was a bit dampered. I was doing so well! Oh well. Got some road rash to prove I'm falling for the Dutch. If someone tells me I should get a bike this week again, I will say not only do I have one, but show them my bruised up knee and scabs to prove it. I saved my face - no more scars on the face!
4. I made it home, took a cat nap and then decided to go the museum that's housing the Mauritshuis Dutch masters that RS recommends. The museum is closed until 2014 for renovations, but a lot of the masterpieces are being shown at the Gemeentemuseum . Don't ask me how to pronounce either of those. I decided to take the tram as my butt was feeling the bike...I felt like I needed one of those geriatric donut seats. TMI? Sorry. The Gemeentemuseum is a mess. I couldn't figure out where to go or what to see. Thankfully they took the museumkaart so I could go back any time, but I think it will be awhile before I decide to do that. I think RS gives the Mauritshuis 2 pyramids...the Gemeentemuseum doesn't register on that scale. That's appropriate. I enjoyed the paintings they had on display from the Mauritshuis, but the rest of it was modern art and the like. Not a fan.
First I saw a special exhibit on Delft pottery. Anyone need a vase?
Then there was another special exhibit of a famous Dutch art dealer who has collected 100s of famous paintings over the years. The exhibit featured only paintings he has either bought or sold over the years:
That's a Monet - scenes from Normany. Really neat.
After that, I couldn't take pictures. The famous Mauritshuis painting is the "Girl with the Pearl Earring" by Vermeer....it wasn't there. Out on tour. Bummer. They did however have a Hendrick Avercamp, who is quickly becoming my favorite Dutch artist:
Other than that, there were a few Rembrants (almost all self portraits, except for a gruesome picture of anatomy class for surgeons. ewww.), one Van Gogh that I could find and a few Steens, Vermeers and Hals. Nothing to get that excited about. Disappointed that the pearl earring girl was on tour. I don't think I can say I've seen Dutch art until I've seen her...she's that iconic.
_-_The_Girl_With_The_Pearl_Earring_(1665).jpg)
5. After that, I wandered the area and found a new pedestrian only shopping area with some interesting looking cafes. For another time.
6. I took the bus back and headed to Noordeine (street with the palace ). I tried Bubble tea for the first time, which I'm not sure I can describe. It was good. I read a bit on my iPad and then headed to O'Casey's for a pint and some snacks. I got a table this time, which was nice and watched a football game between 2 teams whom I have no idea what country they are from. I think Belgium because they were sponsored by Jupiler (Belgian goodness beer), but no idea. I met 2 guys - both claiming to be Irish, but I'm not entirely sure. One of them started speaking to me in Dutch at the beginning and then when I said I only spoke English, he started talking in English with a heavy Dutch accent. Anyways, man of indeterminant nationality continued by asking me where I was from, what I was doing in the Hague...nice conversation. I repeated the exchange to him and he said he was in town studying the art of love. Two things wrong with this: a) he was too old to be studying anything b) SERIOUSLY, that's the pick up line you use? Gross. Called it an early night at that point.
7. On the way back, I did a bit of window shopping for the strangest clothing and/or advertisements I could find. Here is what I came across:
First, ladies, for that night out on the town, who doesn't have a pair of spiky gold roller skates. I mean if you don't, your wardrobe is incomplete.
For real, when you are headed out, the ultimate accessory is roller skates. Particularly if you are 13 and headed to hang out with the boy you are "going with" at the roller rink.
Finally, who doesn't wear their hair like this? I asked my hair guy here in the Hague to give me this look and he said I didn't have enough hair. I'm now in the process of looking for a wig so that I can fit in with these very cool manequins.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Best Valentine's Day to date and new words
I'm liking doing quick short posts as I remember cool things that happen.
I had a great Valentine's day this year. It is traditionally my least favorite holiday of the year - just not into the commercialisation (notice the appropriate use of "s" - I'm working on using British spelling!). This year, 2 of the Brits were in town for work, so the three of us grabbed dinner at my favorite Indian place. It took us a while to find a place to go and the guys were really great about avoiding places with balloons and the like. The food was great, conversation was awesome. Not sure what I was dreading about V-day this year - most fun I've ever had on the holiday!
Speaking of British spelling, I've also started using more traditional British descriptions...like "loo" for restroom or "trousers" for pants. I haven't developed a British accent yet, but hopeful that will happen :)
On the Dutch side, I'm now up to about 10 phrases. It's so hard!!! And it's pretty embarrassing because one of the UK guys has picked up a lot more than I have and he doesn't live here! He can order food in Dutch! Grrrr. Clearly, languages are not my skill.
I had a great Valentine's day this year. It is traditionally my least favorite holiday of the year - just not into the commercialisation (notice the appropriate use of "s" - I'm working on using British spelling!). This year, 2 of the Brits were in town for work, so the three of us grabbed dinner at my favorite Indian place. It took us a while to find a place to go and the guys were really great about avoiding places with balloons and the like. The food was great, conversation was awesome. Not sure what I was dreading about V-day this year - most fun I've ever had on the holiday!
Speaking of British spelling, I've also started using more traditional British descriptions...like "loo" for restroom or "trousers" for pants. I haven't developed a British accent yet, but hopeful that will happen :)
On the Dutch side, I'm now up to about 10 phrases. It's so hard!!! And it's pretty embarrassing because one of the UK guys has picked up a lot more than I have and he doesn't live here! He can order food in Dutch! Grrrr. Clearly, languages are not my skill.
Dutch biking revisited
After the great Arnhem 2012 incident, one would have thought that my days of biking in the Netherlands would be limited. However, Friday changed that.
A friend of mine invited me to the Plein for drinks. The Plein is a big square in the middle of the Hague next to Parliament surrounded by bars and restaurants that spill into the middle of the square. On a warmish day, it's a great place to see and be seen (not that the Dutch are really into the being seen part, but if you are, this is the place to do it). She wanted to ride a bike there, but because I didn't have one, I ended up riding on the back of her bike. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and I really enjoyed the freedom bikes give you. So I went in search of my own bike today.
I went to 4 different places - the first one laughed when I asked for a 26" frame or smaller and gave me a catalog. GRR. Not the reaction I wanted. The 2nd clearly didn't have any my size. The 3rd (the train station) didn't even let me in the door....I was only there 30 seconds before a salesman came to me and said he had nothing in my size. I figured I was going at this the wrong way....the best thing to do was to get further away from the city to where a lot of families live. There may be a potential to find a teenage bike there that might fit.
I found one at Mariahoeve, which is only 2 tram stops from my apartment. I really like it...still getting used to riding it (I rode it back to my apartment!). I think it's cute, Lindsay sized and just what I need for short trips around town. I can even get some groceries with it:
A friend of mine invited me to the Plein for drinks. The Plein is a big square in the middle of the Hague next to Parliament surrounded by bars and restaurants that spill into the middle of the square. On a warmish day, it's a great place to see and be seen (not that the Dutch are really into the being seen part, but if you are, this is the place to do it). She wanted to ride a bike there, but because I didn't have one, I ended up riding on the back of her bike. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and I really enjoyed the freedom bikes give you. So I went in search of my own bike today.
I went to 4 different places - the first one laughed when I asked for a 26" frame or smaller and gave me a catalog. GRR. Not the reaction I wanted. The 2nd clearly didn't have any my size. The 3rd (the train station) didn't even let me in the door....I was only there 30 seconds before a salesman came to me and said he had nothing in my size. I figured I was going at this the wrong way....the best thing to do was to get further away from the city to where a lot of families live. There may be a potential to find a teenage bike there that might fit.
I found one at Mariahoeve, which is only 2 tram stops from my apartment. I really like it...still getting used to riding it (I rode it back to my apartment!). I think it's cute, Lindsay sized and just what I need for short trips around town. I can even get some groceries with it:
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Chosen
I've been asked by a few people how religion plays into life in Europe. After careful consideration about the audience of this blog - who are both involved in the church and outside the church, I found that answering that question in a public blog would offend someone no matter how I answered. So what I decided to do is change it into a confession of sorts that focuses not on how others view religion, but on what I've personnally experienced.
For the last 2 years, I've struggled with organized church. This has nothing to do with the churches I've attended or didn't attend over the last 2 years. It has everything to do with me. I strongly believe that church is not about what you get out of it, but about what you put in it. I wish I could be a better example of that.
I've always been a rule follower. I'm excellent at it. Put it down in black and white, plain English rules and I'm in heaven. That's one of the reasons I know I'm good at my job - there is a manual and I can follow it. Even when it comes to things I'm not good at outside of work, I do them well inside work. For instance, I'm awful at meeting and relating to new people outside of work. However, because it's in the manual as a required item as part of my job at work, I do pretty well at it there. In fact, it might be one of my strengths. For some reason though, I can't apply that behaviour outside of any situation that doesn't involve that manual.
Since college, I've struggled to find a place in a church. At first it was relatively easy. I lived at home, went to my home church and was involved in youth group as a leader. That went pretty well - no post college friends outside of work my age, but at least I was involved. Then I moved and I don't think I appreciated how much my work/life balance really effected my ability to meet new people and form any sort of relationship.
Now, going to church is an absolute struggle. I haven't lost the faith - on the contrary, I feel relatively close to God's grace, mercy and peace. He continues to call me to be involved in Kenya missions and remains faithful to me. But for some reason, going to church reminds me so much of how, in my perception, I'm broken - that I'm not exactly on the path I expected God to call me to. I expected to be on baby #3 with a loving husband and 2 adorable children at this point. Church reminds me of what I'm missing. I can describe all of the dark things you can tell yourself when you feel out of place in church, but it's not worth repeating. It's lonely.
I get caught up in the fact that I'm looking for someone to say "Lindsay, I choose you". That hasn't happened for me yet and jury's out on if it ever will. And to be frank, the only place I feel I'm missing something is church. Everywhere else, I'm fine. The sermon I heard today reminded me that Jesus has already said that, regardless of what I may think of myself during church or after. He has said, "I chose you before you were born, I choose you now and I will continue to choose you no matter what". The God of infinite wisdom chose me and yet all I can focus on is what I don't have.
As a confession (this will offend all of my church friends - fair warning), I went to church for the 2nd time this morning since arriving in the NL. It's not a theology thing - the church I found is Lutheran-lite -> almost on point with a number of key issues. It's a matter of going by myself, only to be reminded that I'm by myself. And to be fair, I was only really going in Houston for the last year when I was in Spring or with T&D to Pearland, which was limited. Chief of sinners though I be.
The point of this blog is to confess that I haven't been faithful to His church. It is unfair for me to describe religious points of view of those here in the NL without taking ownership of the fact that I am not who I would like to be. By no means do I need to do anything to have the love and grace God so freely provides, meaning I know my eternity is not based on my church attendance, but actions such as church attendance are a result of Him first providing His love to me. I only hope that God will take away all of the worry and stress that church causes for me at this point in my life.
1 John 1:5-10; 2:1-2
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."
For the last 2 years, I've struggled with organized church. This has nothing to do with the churches I've attended or didn't attend over the last 2 years. It has everything to do with me. I strongly believe that church is not about what you get out of it, but about what you put in it. I wish I could be a better example of that.
I've always been a rule follower. I'm excellent at it. Put it down in black and white, plain English rules and I'm in heaven. That's one of the reasons I know I'm good at my job - there is a manual and I can follow it. Even when it comes to things I'm not good at outside of work, I do them well inside work. For instance, I'm awful at meeting and relating to new people outside of work. However, because it's in the manual as a required item as part of my job at work, I do pretty well at it there. In fact, it might be one of my strengths. For some reason though, I can't apply that behaviour outside of any situation that doesn't involve that manual.
Since college, I've struggled to find a place in a church. At first it was relatively easy. I lived at home, went to my home church and was involved in youth group as a leader. That went pretty well - no post college friends outside of work my age, but at least I was involved. Then I moved and I don't think I appreciated how much my work/life balance really effected my ability to meet new people and form any sort of relationship.
Now, going to church is an absolute struggle. I haven't lost the faith - on the contrary, I feel relatively close to God's grace, mercy and peace. He continues to call me to be involved in Kenya missions and remains faithful to me. But for some reason, going to church reminds me so much of how, in my perception, I'm broken - that I'm not exactly on the path I expected God to call me to. I expected to be on baby #3 with a loving husband and 2 adorable children at this point. Church reminds me of what I'm missing. I can describe all of the dark things you can tell yourself when you feel out of place in church, but it's not worth repeating. It's lonely.
I get caught up in the fact that I'm looking for someone to say "Lindsay, I choose you". That hasn't happened for me yet and jury's out on if it ever will. And to be frank, the only place I feel I'm missing something is church. Everywhere else, I'm fine. The sermon I heard today reminded me that Jesus has already said that, regardless of what I may think of myself during church or after. He has said, "I chose you before you were born, I choose you now and I will continue to choose you no matter what". The God of infinite wisdom chose me and yet all I can focus on is what I don't have.
As a confession (this will offend all of my church friends - fair warning), I went to church for the 2nd time this morning since arriving in the NL. It's not a theology thing - the church I found is Lutheran-lite -> almost on point with a number of key issues. It's a matter of going by myself, only to be reminded that I'm by myself. And to be fair, I was only really going in Houston for the last year when I was in Spring or with T&D to Pearland, which was limited. Chief of sinners though I be.
The point of this blog is to confess that I haven't been faithful to His church. It is unfair for me to describe religious points of view of those here in the NL without taking ownership of the fact that I am not who I would like to be. By no means do I need to do anything to have the love and grace God so freely provides, meaning I know my eternity is not based on my church attendance, but actions such as church attendance are a result of Him first providing His love to me. I only hope that God will take away all of the worry and stress that church causes for me at this point in my life.
1 John 1:5-10; 2:1-2
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."
Amsterdam fun!
As a Dutch friend of mine rightly pointed out, Amsterdam is really only for tourists....so it's a good thing that I get to act like a tourist on the weekend!
Last weekend, 3 friends from work and I made our way to Amsterdam for what was the best weekend I've had staying here in the NL to date. I can't believe how great it was...still on cloud 9!
On Friday night, we had dinner at the co-worker's apartment who lives directly behind me. After wine, good conversation, great music and amazing food, I slipped out to make sure I could get up in the morning for Amsterdam. Big problem though....I was too excited to sleep! I don't think I've done an all nighter since my first few years working. That's how excited I was.
The next day, instead of taking the train, I drove us to the park and ride in Amsterdam and then we caught the tram into town. We found our hotel and checked in with our stuff. After a bit of walking around, we decided on lunch near the Anne Frank museum. Then we headed to the Anne Frank museum....and I once again learned that they do not check names or ages on museum passes as we used my 2 additional passes with no issues. Third time in the Anne Frank house was completely different than the first two. This time, I focused on what it would have been like to live there. Everything from the lack of light and blacked out windows, to the fact that the floorboards creaked when you walked on them caught my attention. Although they weren't in harms way while hiding, it was it's own prison of sorts. I also was struck by an interview done with one of Anne's friends that talks about a random encounter after she was taken to a camp. It struck me that even in a horrible situation, glimmers of hope came through for her, even if it was only glimmers. I still get chills hearing her father's interview.
The best part about seeing it was that 2 of the group hadn't seen it before and hearing their thoughts on it brought a different light as well.
After that, because 2 of the group are from the UK, we headed to a bar to watch the 6 Nations tournament (Rugby). I had never seen a rugby match all the way through, mostly because I didn't understand the rules. Having someone explain it to me was great and now I'm planning to go watch another match because I think I really enjoy it. Not as much as American football, but I get the appeal.
Then we had the best dinner I've had here in the NL at a place called Rancho. I think it's a chain, but I don't really care. The fajitas were great! Not as good as home, but there was definitely effort made to get it close. Conversation, food, wine.....all of it was fantastic.
The highlight though was going to my first piano bar for some great people watching and a bit of dancing. I have to admit that this was the only point during the day that I really wished I had slept at all the night before. I made it until 2am and then had to crash....luckily cabs were very close!
We had a late lunch/breakfast at a pancake place before coming back to the Hague and catching a quick nap before dinner and Les Miserables. Almost there on getting caught up on my Oscar's movies. I saw Lincoln today, planning to see Silver Linings Playbook this week and Argo next weekend.
Me and my Dutch friend at the Damrak
Canals
Damrak
Bundled up and enjoying the touristy stuff!
Bikes everywhere!
Last weekend, 3 friends from work and I made our way to Amsterdam for what was the best weekend I've had staying here in the NL to date. I can't believe how great it was...still on cloud 9!
On Friday night, we had dinner at the co-worker's apartment who lives directly behind me. After wine, good conversation, great music and amazing food, I slipped out to make sure I could get up in the morning for Amsterdam. Big problem though....I was too excited to sleep! I don't think I've done an all nighter since my first few years working. That's how excited I was.
The next day, instead of taking the train, I drove us to the park and ride in Amsterdam and then we caught the tram into town. We found our hotel and checked in with our stuff. After a bit of walking around, we decided on lunch near the Anne Frank museum. Then we headed to the Anne Frank museum....and I once again learned that they do not check names or ages on museum passes as we used my 2 additional passes with no issues. Third time in the Anne Frank house was completely different than the first two. This time, I focused on what it would have been like to live there. Everything from the lack of light and blacked out windows, to the fact that the floorboards creaked when you walked on them caught my attention. Although they weren't in harms way while hiding, it was it's own prison of sorts. I also was struck by an interview done with one of Anne's friends that talks about a random encounter after she was taken to a camp. It struck me that even in a horrible situation, glimmers of hope came through for her, even if it was only glimmers. I still get chills hearing her father's interview.
The best part about seeing it was that 2 of the group hadn't seen it before and hearing their thoughts on it brought a different light as well.
After that, because 2 of the group are from the UK, we headed to a bar to watch the 6 Nations tournament (Rugby). I had never seen a rugby match all the way through, mostly because I didn't understand the rules. Having someone explain it to me was great and now I'm planning to go watch another match because I think I really enjoy it. Not as much as American football, but I get the appeal.
Then we had the best dinner I've had here in the NL at a place called Rancho. I think it's a chain, but I don't really care. The fajitas were great! Not as good as home, but there was definitely effort made to get it close. Conversation, food, wine.....all of it was fantastic.
The highlight though was going to my first piano bar for some great people watching and a bit of dancing. I have to admit that this was the only point during the day that I really wished I had slept at all the night before. I made it until 2am and then had to crash....luckily cabs were very close!
We had a late lunch/breakfast at a pancake place before coming back to the Hague and catching a quick nap before dinner and Les Miserables. Almost there on getting caught up on my Oscar's movies. I saw Lincoln today, planning to see Silver Linings Playbook this week and Argo next weekend.
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